Capacities like intelligence, humour, creativity, analytical skills and verbal and social talent will never develop fully unless carried forward by good selfconfidence. Talented people with weak confidence can not make full use of their resources. They may be extremely talented, but without the support of good confidence, they have difficulties achieving their full potential in most contexts.
Self-confidence is about how an individual values his or her resources. Hence, what is important is not the existence of resources, but how the individual uses them.
High and Low Self-Confidence
Individuals with good self-confidence have no need to advertise themselves. They can keep a low profile, openly learn from others and let others stand in the centre. They have no need to compare themselves with others and can therefore not be diminished. They are respectful towards things they don’t know or understand, and their humbleness is real – not pretended.
Lack of self-confidence displays itself in two different ways; by being inhibited and introverted – and by exactly the opposite.
The inhibited ones are often regarded as good, kind, a bit colourless and harmless. They may have great resources, but they seem to be stepping on the gas and the brake at the same time. They don’t compete and they allow others to ignore them. These are the individuals you tend to forget when making up a list of invitations and you really don’t notice when they leave.
Those who are the opposite compensate by demonstrating exaggerated selfconfidence. They display self-assertion, they like confi rmation, they are stuck-up, presumptuous or arrogant and they have a need for being admired.
They compare themselves with others, which mean that people around them become important for their confi dence. Such individuals therefore use others to generate their self-confidence.
Many psychologists have the opinion that good self-confi dence begins at home. It is built by parents who value their children’s achievements, parents who show the children respect and avoid offending them, by parents who encourage them to extend borders and who give recognition, support and praise for achievements. Self-confi dence is strengthened in children who feel confident that the most important persons in the universe stand by their side.
